A can of spam, a bottle of sparkling cider and a fruit cake, that was it.
My first Christmas alone, months after my divorce, I was sitting at my kitchen table, not really knowing what to do with myself. Salt Lake City had been home for a few years but was not home really. I felt like I was sitting between two chairs. My kids were living with my ex-husband at the time, my apartment seemed even smaller. For the first time in my life, I was broke. My furniture was second hand, my clothes came from the thrift store, I was 40 and touching rock bottom. Even though I am no addict or alcoholic, that was rock bottom. That Christmas, my pantry was empty, and I had $20 on my bank account.
Yes, one could say I was on a roller coaster, with a 6 months contract minimum wage job. I had made a choice and I would live with it. This new life was a choc to my system. I had left France, Normandy, a couple years prior, to follow my husband transferred by his company in Salt Lake City.
I had left behind my little company, small but successful. My situation was not ideal, to say the least, but I owned my decision, after all,I had a roof over my head, I had a temporary work permit and was waiting for my green card. I'm not going to lie, these holidays were tough. No Christmas ornaments, no tree! I drew a Christmas tree on a piece of paper and put it upright, in front of me. I didn’t have a TV either, but I didn’t mind.
Between the can of spam, the sparkling cider, and the fruit cake, I felt fortunate. There was a lot of snow on the ground, so I was given a white Christmas and that warmed up my heart.
Midnight came and I went outside, on the front yard, I made a snow angel. I felt happy and peaceful as if the Holiday spirit just reached me at that minute and offered me an epiphany. I decided to reinvent myself. I was going to be ok.