Joy and Pain


Sorry, didn't want to write to you all until my heart and mind was feeling a little less bruised, it's been quite the couple of weeks, one way or another, it really has.

Of course the best antidote to the 'horrid few weeks' was the 'UnFrench' wedding, which I'm sure the new 'Madame G' will tell you all about soon? It may take a while though, as I'm sure she is now in honeymoon and moving mode, even though COVID has put paid to any thoughts of that being a joy! In my very humble opinion, newly weds often make their own entertainment! Wink, wink, nudge, nudge!

For us, the admin team, it was a truly joyous occasion and we relished the chance to give our best friend a decent send off, with our first ever Virtual Hen Do! What a blast! To be honest, I didn't think it would work, but we dressed up, grabbed our favourite drinks and showed up online, to party! The next thing I knew was it was 1.30 am and time for our Bride to get some beauty sleep! I also have to admit to feeling pretty rubbish the next day but sat nervously waiting for news of the nuptials!

I have to say she looked absolutely amazing!

Paula wore her long passed mother in laws dress and my goodness she was so perfectly pretty! All brides are beautiful aren't they but for us, Mrs G was top notch! I could say more, but this is her story not mine. Suffice to say we are all so ecstatically happy she got to catch her lovely French man, after such a tumultuous year. It really does a body good to see folks they love so happy and content. Congratulations Paula & Didier! Here's to a wonderful future together, I just know it won't be dull!

In other news and to cut a long story short, my daughter Beth has been in our thoughts a lot recently and we've had quite a turbulent 10 days. I've personally been at war with the system that is supposed to protect her and it's been completely exhausting.

Beth was given a 7 day eviction by the homeless shelter she was in (I think I did mention it in the last blog?) but the staff 'apparently' worked hard with the Mental Health team, to secure her a new placement, more suitable to her needs. This eviction seemed to be a blessing in disguise and we were quite upbeat about it all, only it turned out to be a complete nightmare. We were not that surprised really but very disappointed. In face our terminal disappointment in the mental health service is more than a decade old now.

To be fair to the shelter, Beth should never have been with them. Beths previous CPN had unfortunately rather glossed over her special needs. They didn't have the trained staff to deal with her and I guess they did the best they could?

Beth was moved out of the shelter a day early and before the next place was ready to receive her, apparently in order to comply with the eviction notice. This, I guess is the bit that left her vulnerable and pretty much homeless.

Beth was placed in a seedy b&b without her belongings. We thought it was strange at the time but were reassured that Wellington CARE in Hull, wasn't quite ready for her and were furnishing the room the very next morning. Beth was to be picked up at 1pm the next day and all would be well.

I didn't hear from Beth the day of the pick up but the next day she answered my email saying she was still in the b&b. I just knew it! My instinct had picked up something and it all just didn't feel right! It wasn't!

I did some investigating and was told that 'Wellington Care' had withdrawn the placement offer at the last minute. Hardly caring at all really!

We can't say exactly what happened, as we have asked MIND hq to investigate this issue. We suspect The HAVEN were duplicitous in moving Beth out before the place was firm. Nevertheless, the whole mental health care team for Beth have been very badly behaved and Beth is still in the b&b 10 days later.

Of course I didn't waste any time in going to war with East Yorkshire Mental Health service. Beth is falling between the cracks, far too often. Too difficult to place so they do nothing. It simply isn't good enough. A young vulnerable woman dumped in a b&b with just a kettle, her belongings in storage and no clue what is going to happen.

I have been told this week by her social worker that 'at least she's not on the streets'...........Her care worker....'she can eat instant food, she has a kettle'! There are no words for the sheer ignorance of the professionals, meant to ensure she is safe and in appropriate accommodation, her meds and other needs being taken care of.

In normal times, we could have got the on the ferry and gone to sort this out in person but we clearly couldn't because of COVID. However, we have 'battled royal' to get her the help she deserves. The way she has been treated has quite frankly been inhumane. There is no excuse. I've involved everyone and left no stone unturned, but often it has felt pointless. These people are very clever in using privacy laws to protect themselves and leave the person in need without an advocate!

Finally, today we have news of a possible fit in regards to a home for Beth. We are holding our collective breath for now, as nothing has gone quite right for Beth for two years long years. She has been bounced from pillar to post and pretty much left in the too difficult to place box.

You know, we are all talking about mental health more, yes, but that really is as good as it gets! Talking is great, it's a start but the system is completely broken. One size does not fit all. Care in the community isn't for everyone. There is very little money and barely any resources for people like Beth, who need extra assistance with daily living. We need action, real action. Beth has been treated like a pariah of society and it is shameful. She's also effectively been homeless for two years with no real care. It's appalling. I honestly don't think she or I will sleep tonight!

I've made a 'Go Fund Me' page to raise money towards Beths future care. I know times are hard, but please consider buying one less present this Christmas and either donating to her cause or donating to a mental health charity?

I'm sincerely hoping that with donations, money we can save and the local authority funding if any, Beth will be safe for the rest of her life.

D x

256 views0 comments

©2019 by the very unfrench wives. Proudly created with