Lockdown, Heaven or Hell?

For me, when President Macron announced lock down would happen in France on the 13 March, I didn't really think much about it, that was......

..until I started to get business cancellations and our nice little cash buffer went up in smoke!!!!

It all suddenly turned into a kind of hell!! (if only for a little bit).

All I could do, was break down and cry really, because I am the sort of person that likes to be in control and this was so far out of my comfort zone, its almost in space! Even my husband hates it when I drive and he is navigating if we go down the wrong street god help us all!!

For a few days I tried to stay positive but really that only really worked for a nano second. I felt like my life was imploding and that at nearly 43 years old, I was still struggling to keep my family safe....!

Where did it all go wrong!!!

So while I was worrying about;

1. Not working and have zero money coming in. How do we pay our bills?

2. How do I feed my family?

3. How do we get financial assistance? After all we live in a foreign country and absolutely do not know the system at all!!!

The outside world did not how much I was crumbling inside and panicking! I mean after all what else was I suppose to do? It also felt shameful to be in this position and to be feeling like I'm lost. Also not getting any real answers from the bank?

Thank you for the 300 euro charge on the account, that was helpful!!

The accountant was also being less than helpful with the whole situation. I suppose it's not their fault and they also have no idea what is going on, but for me its very frustrating because I like people to be straight with me!

So after a huge meltdown with my husband, in week 3 things started to change, maybe because we finally had more information on what was happening.

Here's where things change!!!

This is where heaven happened!!

So I decided that I could keep pretending everything is okay or actually do something about it! So I have focused on my family and since we have been in lockdown we have been cooking, gardening, painting, drawing, Easter egg hunts and nearly 300 photos later; that's only on the SLR.

We have made so many new memories and its all thanks to this virus Covid-19! When in our life-time can we get to have a 8 week holiday (that's if we are released on the 11 May 2020) in one of the most beautiful seasons?

What I am really enjoying watching is how the whole world is dealing with it in a really positive way, they are not dwelling on what is going on but making light of it all. You have memes of people singing reworded Bee Gee's songs to make you stay at home and a 99 year old war veteran, walking laps of his garden to raise funds for the NHS. Mr Tom I salute you and the amazing sum you have raised so far and I am sure its going to go even higher.

I also feel lighter in myself! We still have no money coming in, but the right channels are opening and yes we will get help one day, but its France and they are NOT notoriously fast.

It's quite funny really for me. It has made me reassess my life and cut out most of the negativity with-in it and even though I don't know what is going to happen, I am now much calmer and really quite optimistic about this brave new world we are going into.

Most of my other bookings have been moved to later on in the year and weddings have also been moved, which is fabulous. There is simply no point in worrying about something that is far out of my control, I just need to take it in my stride!!

So really all in all its not that bad!

Thank you for reading and see you all on the sunny side in this new world!

Tia xx


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