Got up this morning, Saturday, August the 17th and honestly, it's like someone threw a blanket over the earth! It's autumnal dark, raining and misty. Really strange after the summer light, heat and humidity. So at odds with the temperature, which is still in double digits!
The mood in the our house is low, very low.
He's ignoring me and I'm ignoring him. The Teen caused a row in the house pre bedtime and we are all still smarting. Actually, I've been festering a few issues with him and her all summer, if I'm honest.
Lates Teens are a confusing species at the best of times. Having adult relationships but relying on us to sort it all out! They don't want our opinions but still can't load the dishwasher without a major meltdown! We parents are plenty good enough to finance their lives, but must absolutely not have an opinion about their choices!
Boy oh boy!
It's like walking on egg shells, on a tightrope, blindfolded, holding two de pinned hand grenades! You just never know when it's all gonna go BOOM!
Then there's him.
My chap isn't a talker, which makes most issues a major problem and we generally end up in a fight about everything! We store them up a while, table them neatly for later and with the right opportunity, we blow a gasket at each other!
Bulk fighting! Nice huh!
The Teen is a Daddies girl, through and through. I'm okay for everything 'generally' but if she disagrees with me, Dad is brought on to bolster her side and he does. It irritates the heck out of me and I do find it quite insulting.
Todays punishment for both will be, she goes back to school shopping with him and his tight wallet. Good luck with that sweetheart!
Then I have a nice long list of complaints, that I've been wallowing in for a while. His job for starters!
Honestly, I can't tell you how much I've lost out on due to his project choices and never ending trips around the globe. I'm about done.
I can't see the wood for the trees.
Every time I think we have an agreement he changes the rules.
The point is I can't bounce anymore. I don't want to. Why should I?
We had agreed it's all about the money for the next three years. We have school fees and the Wreck to do up.
So why he would look at another job in Canada, higher up the food chain for no pennies more, befuddles me. Okay, not the right use of words...........'pisses me off' actually!
I feel cheated.
It really doesn't make any sense to me. You don't move to do more work and gain stuff all!
I have a husband that is like an elastic band, pinging here there and everywhere. I've given it 30 years, so no one can accuse me of not supporting him! Now though, I feel we are at a cross roads.
It's like I don't feature in his choices and he is blind to the effect it all has on me!
I want a home, friends, a business, a social life and to throw some wallpaper at my own walls! I want a slice of what I've been missing for decades.
Instead, being here, we are worse off in every way. Makes zero sense to me and I'm livid now.
I can't pretend his lifestyle makes mine happy or makes any sense really.
Mostly, I end up living alone so I can be near my family. It was okay in my 20's and 30's but thereafter just got worse with every move.
When I am away, he expects me to get on a plane to him every few weeks, which isn't ever doable financially or personally. I have dogs. I have a life! The same mistakes are being made over and over again.
I'm tired of dropping everything for his jobs, which never quite do what they say on the packet!
I'm not sure why he cant see my never-ending sacrifice cheques are starting to bounce! I've run out of steam, literally!
Just colour me a picture of a 'normal', stable life and I will have me some of that please!
Moaning mini out.