First, there was the frolicking Fosse Septique, which burped very rudely one night all over the downstairs toilet floor. The hand painted tiles royally got it that time and several times afterwards! Effluence for days! I came to dread the old farm septic system! I called it the angry monster in the garden! A few rumbles and I was hurriedly showing expensive fosse powders down the drains and loo's!
Many investigations later, the Fosse site was discovered under a mound of gravel in the drive way. It took the original owner and his team, several hours to find it and then several more to unblock it of a large piece of material. We had only been in residence a few weeks and so not our fault, clearly. Apparently, there had been an American family in residence with 6 kids previously. So, I lay the blame squarely on those naughty little crafting hands!
Then there were many, many weeks of sleepless nights because of the crazy critters in the roof space. Cute and smelly if you liked that sort of thing! They danced the night away above my head from 2am prompt. The dancing cumulating in mating and finally feeding on rotten dead flesh of some sort. It was an absolutely nightmare.
The Landlady needed a lot of prompting to get it sorted and I think by the time the loft was unlocked, critter catcher brought in, I was lacking in six weeks sleep straight and slightly deranged! The monsters in the attic were gently persuaded to move house and home and bliss was restored. The culprit was a Pine Marten! How could we?
Evil dressed in fancy fur, I tell you!
The strange smells of the country eh!
One morning running down the stairs I came face to face with a cow looking in the back window! Curious buggers they were. Always coming to say hi and rub their noses up against the windows. Maybe being blonde like them I was mum, who knows! The noise they made was rather akin to a grumpy growl. Really odd.
Another fine early summer morning, saw me knocking crazily on the same window trying to scare a prowling fox from the neighbours chicken pen. I wasn't successful and off he went with his freshly caught squealing dinner!
In rural Normandy there were a lot of noises to get to used to. Things went bump in the night often. Howling, rustling and squawking. Lots of birds of prey catching innocent little field mice!
Eery noises and eyes everywhere! I saw deer often. The stag a few times and would quickly high tail it away, in case he decided to screwer me to a tree. Then one pre op walk saw 375 kgs of flying bacon cross my path!
Ugly buggers and quite scary looking! Fortunately Bertie wasn't aware of this horny guys presence, so Mr Pork chop did another fly past and disappeared into the farms barn! Phew!
One thing Normandy wasn't was quiet or boring! In fact there was more drama per day than in Eastenders!