Being honest with myself at the moment seems to be the most important concern of my day, every day. I have traveled faraway roads lonely or crowded, dark or glowing. This year is undoubtedly the most intriguing, living tapestry on the loom of my life.
As the needle passing through, the design has come in place, I cannot really see the work ahead. More motifs to create, intricate and beautiful. So many colorful threads to contemplate. The silver and golden, my loved ones and my missing ones appear delicately, the golden thread impossible to find, the one offered, the one that never disappears from your heart.
Trust and self-doubt belonged to the past, I wish,...once upon a time, the past I rarely turn to. But this year there bares a feeling of blurriness.
Normally there are precise gestures and pictures in my life, but then, where is normal in that ocean of indecisive moments we have no control over. Each time the needle goes thru, a new stroke of color renders life a slow motion.
Today and all the other days, just a portion of woven art revealed or should I say more guessed.
Like one’s stride, when going on a walk with your spouse, not to big, not too small, just the right distance for you. Yes, this year, I can’t find my stride. I would rather dance life...
I am not unhappy. I am just “stuck in the middle with you”. Between the will and the appetite for life, one must trust oneself. With a sense of neediness and normality, I throw away the do-to list, pour a glass of wine and decide to invent the new normal.
My hand will be firm and knowledgeable, as I was but wait... am I awake... The new normal as it is or will be is just that, a peculiar year to trust me and ignore the mirror.
A French Woman living in the USA