What are they???? Why are they so hurtful???? Why are they elitist????
What am I actually looking for????
For years I thought that is all that I wanted too!!
Being part of a community that builds you up, encourages you, tells you when you are being silly or stupid, or where you all lunch together, go on holiday together, have fun together, just be together, e.t.c but was it really what I wanted or was I looking for something else?!
Before moving to France I was part of a huge tribe and the only thing we all had in common was a love for motorbikes and friendship.... It did not matter if you were large or small, pretty or handsome, toy boy or toy girl, we all just loved hanging out together and going on ride outs to different motorbike rallies and events to enjoy a few bevvies and a few bands!!!! And nearly 25 years on we are all still friends, some are not with us but we never say goodbye. We don't hang out or talk everyday like we used to back then, due to one thing or another but I know they are always there for me, it's kinda an unwritten rule between us all.
Them were the days............
So when I moved to France I thought I would find the same thing.........
In reality I could not have found the opposite, just lots of cliquey groups whose judgement can be ruthless and very hurtful especially if they really don't know you.... For years I would always wonder if it was something about me!!!! Why would they not accept me, was I not intelligent enough? Slim enough? Fashionable enough? Retired enough? Plain enough? Pretty enough? The list goes on.
And then I realized it was them and it was actually me too......
They were not good enough for me!!!! Which was the long and short of it, maybe it was my subconscious naturally weeding them out to start off with but with being in a country where I did not speak the language, I thought I needed their approval to fit into a new country and that if they weren't my friends, that my life in this new country would be difficult and complicated.
I find the expat community here. an amazing community. Where in the UK (unless you were lucky enough) would I be hanging out with estate-agents, artists, painters, musicians, PA, pilots, gardeners, plumbers, MUA's, farmers, auto painters, antique experts, teachers, writers, potters, gite owners, and their better halves? The list goes on and it is a wonderfully mixed bunch of people!! There is so much wealth and knowledge with in this community and I have had some of the most amazing conversations which for me has enriched my life for the better and also taught me a thing or two. I have been privileged enough to meet lots of beautiful people here in France over the years, some of whom I class as really good friends to me now and as each year passes we all get to know a little more about each other and become even closer.
I think it is because we have all been here for that long we have all been through the same experiences and have grown less tolerable of the elitists and just want to spend time in company of people who like us for us and there is no judgement or speculation!
I continue to meet lots of lovely people and keep expanding my horizons and having fun with them.
I think to answer my original question, all I am looking for is true friendship!!!! Which in part is what we are all looking for: Fun, Friendship and Kindness.
So remember if you do meet someone new who is a bit quirky or odd just like me ;) they might just need a friend or someone to chat to and not be judged or gossip about, thankfully for me, it's taken a while and lots of weeding but I have found such people......... I suppose my tribe :)
Bye Bye for now!